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Let's Not Use the Word 'Lazy" With Our Children

This blog post is about helping children and teens realize that not everyone learns in the same way. It is a plea to not call these children lazy.

What do stuttering, dyslexia, and ADHD have in common? Unfortunately children who present with these disorders often appear to lack motivation. Hence, they are termed lazy.

When children are called lazy and are not given reasons to be excited about learning or unsure how to achieve the high stressed educational goals our society places upon them, they lose their spark to succeed.

When I was young and stuttered severly, I didn't have much success in speech therapy. As a result, I wasn't able to speak and became fearful of talking. I used every excuse possible to not be in the classroom. I went to the nurse with headaches, went to the bathroom to avoid being called on and as a result didn't study hard for exams.

I didn't see a light at the end of the tunnel. I couldn't figure out how doing well on a test would help me in the real world. I couldn't adequately see into the future.  I also found reading textbooks difficult and it wasn't until later that I started using audiobooks, which opened up a different way of learning for me.

Many times in my practice, children and teens tell me they aren't smart enough for school and they are told by family members or educators they are "lazy."

I ask them if they like learning. Many of them say yes but they can't learn in the way they are taught. I see sadness in their eyes.

I am hoping we can put a spark back into our children and help them realize they are unique in their own way and will contribute to this world. We need people who think out of the box.

To all these children and teens, please realize you are not lazy. All of you have special gifts inside of you that one day will be unwrapped, hopefully sooner than later.

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

Yankee Man January 12, 2013 at 01:56 AM
Some kids have issues and shoule never be called any negative names.....some kids are lazy. It's ok to identify your chllds weaknesses and attempt to correct. " Dont be lazy, write nice and neat" can be a reasonable thing to say to child. Not every child with a handicap is lazy....some normal kids can be lazy.... i know some adults who are lazy. We should stop over protecting from any negative words, consequences or even failures.
Lori Melnitsky January 12, 2013 at 03:02 PM
I want to first thank you for reading my blog. I want to clarify that I am talking about children who have different ways of learning or difficulty learning. In some cases with stuttering they can't even say their names. Of course we have to encourage children and adults to reach their potential and overcome obstacles, however, I don't know too many people who benefit from negativity.
Yankee Man January 16, 2013 at 05:03 AM
Really......no one benefits form negativity lol....... Lets try this...do your job or you get fired and your kids have no food....lol.... Do your homework right or your not going outside to play....... clean your room or your not getting any allowance.... the whole world works on the threat of negative reaction. Now if the kid has issues I not suggesting this but it is the way the world go around......
Kelly Rain Collin February 11, 2013 at 03:15 AM
Thank you for sharing Lori. I love that you were not only able to conquer your own challenges, but are now helping others so the same. Having someone who really 'gets it', makes a world of difference for kids. Each child (& adult) learns differently and taking the time to understand why a child may be avoiding a task or struggling with something, can make a world of difference - not only for their learning, but also their self-esteem.
Lori Melnitsky February 25, 2013 at 01:24 AM
Thanks for your comment Kelly. It is so important to take the time to learn how each child learns.

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